7 Don’ts When Going Through A Divorce

The normal point of belief is to trust your spouse, but when you are in the process of a divorce, you will have to imagine you are engaged in “warfare.” As strange as that may sound, it is a reality in most cases. Your life will change drastically in a very short time so you must think defensively in order to protect your future.

Following are a few points to ponder:

1. Don’t , in any case, use your spouse’s lawyer, even if they claim they are saving money. Their lawyer is NOT your friend! Your future will be about money! Protect it! Find your own lawyer, one you trust.
2. Don’t sign anything legal until your lawyer okays it. Even if they say “trust me, I wouldn’t hurt you.” Oh yes, they would.
3. Don’t make any verbal promises. Your spouse could be recording you and in some states, recorded messages are legal. If not, a savvy lawyer could use your words against you and influence the judge.
4. Don’t date anyone else until you are divorced or legally separated. Check with your lawyer on your legal rights. It could be used to your disadvantage, even if your spouse is already cheating on you.
5. Don’t depend on your spouse’s credit rating. Establish your own credit in only your name, before the divorce. Without it, you will not be able to rent an apartment, buy a car or many other necessities. Your personal good credit is like gold to you, married or not.
6. Don’t wait until you are divorced before you make plans of living alone. Investigate a safe environment in which to live, in case you have to sell your home and divide the spoils. Work on a personal budget so you will know what to ask for in the proceedings.
7. Don’t suffer alone. Join a Support Group, seek counseling, legal, financial and emotional. Waiting until you are in a heap on the floor may lead you to make bad decisions. You may not be thinking clearly and need someone to help you clear your thoughts.

In some cases, divorce becomes un-declared warfare. Being unprepared could mean the soft of heart will be the one who suffers most. The above suggestions are the bare minimum to be aware of. Educate yourself on your rights. Read, go to divorce informational groups, check the net for ideas of self protection.

Listening to friends legal suggestions is a mistake, unless they are a lawyer, or have official information. Divorce is unpleasant enough on its own terms, but making mistakes because of a lack of knowledge can be avoided.

This is a Guest Post courtesy of Patricia Hubbard. For more tips and tools on how to survive divorce and loss and make healthy relationship choices you are invited to visit http://askpat.typepad.com. Patricia Hubbard has Facilitated a Support Group for Separated, Divorced and Widowed people for the past 12 years.